Archive for July, 2009
Memories left abandoned
These days, life is just routine. Monotonous… downright boring. But blogging can be addicting. It is strange. It was like after the half blood prince entry, other thoughts appear. Maybe I just miss my dashboard too much. Maybe I miss the typing but the dashboard changed, so that cant be the reason. There I am ranting.
Sometimes, I am surprise at how much I have changed. These are not obvious changes, not the kind that an old friend can point out immediately, not the kind a close family member or friend can notice. Changes that I can only detect myself. Changes in the way I view things. Now that I think about it… it is not that I changed but more like I stop denying some things and stop trying to feel and be the way I would like to be.
I have an ideal, to me, an ideal being. My hero is someone who is extremely brainy, manipulative and not physically strong because he doesn’t have to be. After all, physical strength is something that is extremely unreliable. There will always be someone stronger. He is rational and though he can feel things like happiness, sadness, these are to a minimum and will never affect him. He is never lonely because his brain is always working. Therefore, he doesn’t need companionship. He has family and he has friends but he is able to do without both. He can love them but he loves himself above all others. He always has a goal in his mind and he always know what to do. He will never have to make a choice between his close ones and his objective because he wouldn’t get into such a situation. And if he can see himself in such a situation, he wouldn’t get close in the first place.
To me, that is an ideal and I know it is not possible to have someone like that. And I am probably the only one who thinks of something like that as an ideal. And I think I actually strives towards this ideal when I was younger. Wit is something that I can’t do anything about. I never had to be manipulative and I am not physically strong but that is not by choice either. But I did make sure I was never lonely. By making use of my imagination. Family, probably not, but I did try to make it through without friends. At least close ones. I manage alright in my primary school days… no one I really care about and cannot do without. Secondary school was ok, JC was too much of school and I sort of forgot about the whole ideal thing. And after that, somehow, I stopped trying. And after JC, the almost weekly meetings with zl and wy actually made me glad that I have close friends. And there are those less often meetings with the old clique (which I admit I was never really a part of because I was still trying too hard in secondary school). In university, I actually missed the times I spent with my old friends and I wouldnt say I feel lonely. But sometimes being around other people, I couldn’t help wishing I was with my old friends instead. It is not like I couldn’t feel such things in the past but perhaps I try too hard not to and I try too hard not to admit and it became a “I simply don’t care”.
Nowadays, I am more ready to admit that I am a normal human being. Maybe it was a wish to be different… special… I don’t know. And now I wonder whether I actually did have crushes when I was younger but it was all buried under that I don’t want to admit it and I am not like that and I am different from the rest of you. This reminded me of the little discussion with L some time last year. We were talking about something and I said I never had crushes. She said, it wasnt possible and that I probably did, I just refused to admit it. I didn’t think much then, I just thought to myself, “but I really didn’t”. But now that I think about it, maybe she was right. But I can’t really remember any particular instances or people that I might have crushed on. I mean, I had good guy friends in primary school but no one crushable. I was pretty much in my own world in JC and college… well, I can very safely say NO ONE. and that is reliable, because I stopped that whole “not admiting” thing. But whatever it is… if it is like what she said, that I must have my crushes some where in my short 20 years… I am pretty curious as to who that person is. The person that I somehow forgot due to the other hundred and one things on my mind. You know, I use to think quite a lot.
This is such a strange entry.
On another note, seeing the Takuya Kimura advertisement everyday at the bus stop totally make me happy every morning. And I got a new addiction.
Your voice was all I heard, that I get what I deserve.
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
As usual, I reread the book before watching the movie. so that everything is fresh in my head, after all, things are a little confusing when you don’t read the book. This seems to happen to all the more recent Harry Potter movies. I find myself having to explain many things to my parents. It is the whole time limit thing, which makes print-to-screens a little hard to get sometimes.
Overall, I thought the movie was quite good, the main story was pretty clear. Book six was less action and more storytelling. It was also a very important book which explained almost everything so I thought that part was done ok. The movie was also darker, everything just looked more gloomy. However, the scenery was, as usual, beautiful. I really must visit scotland some day. I especially loved the part where Harry and Dumbledore stood on the rock by the cliff. The wind, the sea, the waves, a sense of danger, the power of nature… well, it all looked very grand. I loved it. Another scene which left a deep impression because of the beauty of the scenery was the part at hagrid’s, mourning for aragog. And I also especially liked the part which showed the outside of the castle. The part where Ron was making out with Lavender Brown in some stairwell and just across, Malfoy was deep in thought on some rooftop. I thought that scene was absolutely brilliant.
Special effects wise, there was the falling of the bridge. Which looked very very good. I wonder how they made it twist like that. Though I must say, I wonder why the Deatheaters are smoky. That was weird. And of course, there is the part in the cave where Dumbledore was surroundered by the fire he conjured. Beautiful. That scene was too short though, I would have liked to take in more of Dumbledore’s grandeur. And the inferi reminded me of Smeagol in Lord of the rings. There was a very strong resemblance, the bald heads and skinny bodies. I thought they should have hair… And the Dark mark reminded me of the part in The Mummy 2 where the guy was trying to swallow the plane up with the sand… even the face is like the same.
The Burrow burning part was a little random. I don’t think it happened in the book and it was a little confusing. I do like the way Fenrir Greyback looked though. The Burrow also appeared much darker than in the previous movies. Not quite cheerful. To me, it seems like they just wanted more Ginny with Harry scenes.
On Ginny and Harry, well… I thought there were too much of it. the portrayal of the relationship. But it was ok I guess… since it contributed to much of the humour in the show. But I thought the part where Ginny and Harry went to hide the book in the Room of Requirement was totally random. Even if he wanted to hide something, why with Ginny? Hermione or Ron would have made more sense. And Ginny is taller. haha. Oh, the Room of Requirement part was not clear at all. Malfoy always disappears that… and they couldn’t explain how Harry got in either. And how come he didn’t try going in when he saw Malfoy disappear. Because in the book, Harry did try, because he knew it was there. In the movie, he didn’t, even though he knew it was there. The Ron and Hermione part was ok though. It added humour and didn’t feel unnecessary. And once again I wonder why hermione likes Ron. I have always wanted her to end up with Harry… even when I was reading the book. Their relationship felt closer.
I liked the way Malfoy’s character was portrayed. It left quite a strong impression on me, the way he looked, the part of him crying in the toilet and when he faced Dumbledore. And all the random parts where he stood alone or was going somewhere. Though I wonder why he kept wearing the same thing, it was like a black suit… not even the school uniform.
Dumbledore dying was ok… When I read the part, I really feel sad. In the movie, I didn’t. Maybe because I already knew it was going to happen but still, somehow, I expected well.. more. But I did hear people sniffing in the cinema. At the end, it was all a little confusing. And I didn’t feel the sadness in Harry, even though he was crying in Ginny’s arm, I just couldn’t feel it.
I did like the ending though… Harry, Ron and Hermione. I was glad that they didn’t try adding Ginny in. I like it that it was just the three of them, the way it always was.