Rah place
I am an extremely lazy person. It is only recently that I paid more attention to what I do.. and why I do things I do. Maybe it doesn’t really make sense. It is like evaluating yourself on hindsight. Which is kind of strange. Sometimes, you have to evaluate on hindsight because it is the only way you can do it. Like how my dad strongly believes that the main cause for the suicide of the ntu person is that he plays violent pc games. It may have nothing to do with it but one can only make guesses. maybe educated ones.
But evaluating oneself on hindsight is quite nonsensical. Like if you do something… then you think about it, then you say I did it because blahblahblah. But that is crappy because you are suppose to know why you did it. There is no need to make guesses, educated guesses or whatever. But I realise that it is a very natural thing to do. at least for me it it very natural. Like telling myself I did that because blahblahblah. And not because it is really like that but there is process of reasoning before I come to the conclusion of the reason behind certain actions or something.
And why do I have to that? Because even though I am the person doing it, I don’t know my reasons for doing something. It feels random. Not that I think it is random but now that I think about it, some actions feel random. And somehow, “randomness” is not a valid reason. Because it is hard to understand.
I am beginning to lose track of what I was thinking. Now that I think about it, this hardly makes sense. Do people normally form logical conclusions about themselves the way that I do? Probably not. It makes much more sense to have the reason then the action. The other way round is just weird.
Anyway, that wasn’t what I was thinking about. I just sort of went there on the “hindsight” thing. So I begun to evaluate some of my actions. The reason is that I realised that sometimes I close the door when I go to the toilet and sometimes I don’t. That is when I am at home and there is no one at home or it is late in the night. And I don’t really know I do that… it feels automatic. But I realise (that is after evaluating), that this is not random.
On weekday nights and at times when everyone has retreated to their rooms, I usually don’t close the door. But it is different on weekends. And I realise it also depends on the time when I go to the toilet. On hindsight, I realise that it makes perfect sense. Parents need not be considered because they sleep early and they have their own toilet in the room. Sister sleeps early on weekdays because she is extremely lazy and cant wake up early. But sister sleeps late on weekends. So naturally, by considering the probabilities, it is safer to not close the doors on weekdays than on weekends. And it also make perfect sense that the deeper into the night, the less likely I will and need to close the doors.
The other situation is when nobody is at home. This is even simpler. In the first 10 minutes when the people leave, there is a possibility that they will forget something and is near enough to travel back. After that, it is not really possible. So after that, I can safely not close the doors. But one has to evaluate where the rest have gone and how long they are likely to go for. And of course, how accurate the timings will be. School and work for example, are usually precise. Shopping is probably not so but you can judge by things like whether they are buying dinner back etc. So again, it works on probabilities. And I never close the door when there is a very low probability that the people will suddenly come back.
But of course, I think about all these only recently when I have been not closing doors for years and years. In fact since I am capable of reasoning out things and not blindly listen to parents. And not once have I been walked in on. Which means that I must be able to work out the probabilities quite well. Without working it out. Since the analysis above are like done after that. I mean, if I have to think out all those factors before going to the toilet, then it makes more sense to just close the door all the time. But I don’t do that.
So I wonder if it is just random and a bit of luck. and whatever I evaluated on hindsight is just bullshit.
Do most people just close the door all the the time?
March 5th, 2009 at 10:55 am
lol hey girl i wrote about this before! like eons ago. i do close the toilet door automatically even if there’s no one at home – in fact it is only when i REASON before i do that will i leave the door open.
anyway i was kind of reminded of the cognitive dissonance theory – do you remember it for KI? the gist of it is like you are “forced” to perform an action that you have no wish to, but because you weren’t exactly forced into it, you start to think up reasons to explain why you did it and thus you start to believe in it. which is kind of why we sometimes reason only after we make a decision. but saying this might just be because i believe we usually have no good reasons for making the decisions we make – it’s only after the decision that we think up of reasons to comfort ourselves lol.
March 5th, 2009 at 10:47 pm
hey,
no I can’t remember the KI thing. I don’t think I can even remember my own thesis! But! I did not have no wish to not close the door and thus, have to reason about it. It is more like a “suddenly I feel like paying more attention to the things I do” kind of thing. there is really nothing to comfort myself about!
Maybe it is a habit? That’s why you close it all the time right and there need not be a reason for that. But it is harder to imagine it being a habit since I close it sometimes and not close it at other times. Unless I pee at regular intervals and I do not. But it is kind of hard for me to believe it is random!
So do you reason all the the time before you go to the toilet?