Archive for August, 2008
school
Before I know it, week two of school is over. And to think I worried about having no place to go during breaks, the library is a great place. which is why I am here now. great chairs and very quiet . no one to disturb. a 4 hour break today.
the first lab session which was last week suck. the experiement itself is ok but i have no idea why we must hand in the report on the day itself. Especially when the lab is locked and the staff all went home. And we still have to stuff the report under the glass door, which is what they told us to do. Anyway, since our data was a little screwed up, the report is probably screwed up as well. Ah wells, luckily it is only 5 percent. Unluckily, it is actually counted.
For some reason or other, people seem to like phelps alot nowadays. True, he is awesome. There is no denying that, this man made his name a legacy to remember. And he is very tall and not bad looking. But people like my sister is watching him. Like “oh look that is phelps!”, or “I want to see phelps” or something like that. That amuses me since she didn’t even know about him in the Athens and he rocked at Athens. Maybe because he got more famous. Is it true that the more famous you are, the more people like you? I thought it was suppose to be the other way round. How very weird.
So zl is off! about time, since both wy and I started school already. It is kind of strange to say this but I think I will not get friends as close as this anymore. I mean, it is kind of difficult to meet people whom you can just click with and even if you do, most would already have their own groups of friends. And even when they don’t, it is kind of hard to get close unless you see each other eveyday or something. Yes, especially if it is me, I seldom get close to people, not that I mind if they come close but it has to be a two way thing you see.
Well, I do know a few people here and there but I don’t hang out with anyone during breaks. It is mainly just lectures. They just plop themselves next to you.. so they have someone to talk to and disturb? don’t know!
I am not really use to it yet, studying a few things at time. Something that I have done all my life, suddenly I realise how hard it is. To have a few different subjects. you don’t know which to do first, you lost track of what you don’t get and you miss out some subjects here and there when doing a task list. How the hell did I ever do it? I think it is because I have to make my own timetable and go for my classes. Sadly, the teachers don’t come to you anymore.
adios.
School’s In!
Ok not really, since school starts tomorrow.
But school is starting after all. I don’t really feel anything. I think it is because the holidays dragged on too long. Which effectively got rid of that I don’t want it to end feeling. Plus the fact that this holiday didn’t come along with a vacation. Which makes it not very fun. And thus, ending it is a so what for me.
Ok, maybe not. Since I got to accomplish quite a lot of things this holiday. Like meet up with friends, going out for so long would not have been possible during school. And I discovered the wonders of Yamapi. And I learnt driving and Japanese. And I earned some money. See.. not too bad after all. Oh, and I watched some drama serials. Which I would not have if there was no holidays.
Yep, not too bad after all.
I guess the sleepover was kind of fun after all. I felt relatively comfortable. It is probably the company. I wonder whether I will remember it 10 years later. Maybe I will look back and think, “wow, I did such stupid things!” Do adults do things like that? I really don’t know. But I can never imagine being an adult. I don’t think I will ever become one. I mean adults are kind of boring. And when they are not, they are classified as weird.
At least that is what I feel.
Ah! I have to wake up at 5.30 tomorrow. I haven’t done that since many many months ago. Oh so many months ago. Which otherwise reminds me that I better go get myself a map. Since I didn’t go for orientation, I haven’t quite got the school yet. I don’t even know where the canteen is. Or which buildings connect. Even for my faculty, I have absolutely no idea.
I do understand the faculty of Science a bit more though. Since I used to go there every week. Now I wish I chose science instead. I feel quite out of place with Engineering. I think it is the physics. Since I didn’t take it. Ok not really. Whatever it is, I am happy where I am.
I realise that you choose your own lab partner. They are not allocated. which kind of suck since I don’t know anybody in my department. ok, I know a total of 2 people in the faculty and both not from my department. And gor is family so he is not really counted. Which means I know only 1 person. haha. blame myself for being antisocial.
But then again, knowing my character, it is better for me not to go for orientation. I don’t function well in large groups. Especially when they play stupid orientation games. which otherwise will mean I will not only end up with no friends, I will have a whole bunch of awkward acquaintances which probably could have been friends with me if it wasn’t for orientation. Which is another way to convince myself that not going for orientation is a good thing.
Yes, I actually need to convince myself. You see, even I am not invincible. I have come to believe that people cannot function alone. I don’t know what you call it. Societal pressure? don’t know don’t know.
Oh, I am so happy that I got an A for KI. My KI used to be quite good in early J1, then somehow, it became worse and worse. And I believed that it is impossible to get A for KI. And I was really ok with it since I thought to myself, I was never good at anything that was more english than science. Which is very true by the way. I am such a science person that I suck at everything else. ok, I guess that has absolutely no connection. just a bad excuse. whatever, point is, I never expected an A. That is until I reached end of J2. But then again, I don’t think of such things when I was reaching the end of J2. It was not will I get an A. It just flew out of my head when A levels and prelims and stuff like this came. Just busy studying, wondering if the teacher will finish, wondering where ot get the notes and tutorials, wondering what to eat for lunch etc. And of course, wondering what to do when the As are over.
Anyway, I got an A for KI. Hurray for me. Yay. It is the only subject that I will not be sad if I got less than an A. The other subjects… if I didn’t get As, I will probably be quite disappointed. Do I sound arrogant? I don’t think so right. Since everybody get As at A levels. But I think it is the type of people that are around in school. I always wonder how some people can be so good. why they can succeed in everything they do. Like those president scholars and whatever. There are some people in school who are like insane. And there are others like me who is just like that. I wonder if they ever worry. I wonder if there are anything that they suck at.
I bought a deuter bagpack for school. I am a student once again. I shall enjoy my last few hours of holiday.
Arghhh
I hate the stupid bidding system. Ok, actually it would have been ok if I figured it out earlier. I really wonder why they make things to very confusing. Which means I ended up in not a very good position.
Thank god I didn’t wait till next sem to figure out. After all, if I think carefully about it, there is no need for me to take another module this sem since I am already one module ahead even before the sem starts. But of course, I must not think that way and quickly find another module to read this sem. Arghh.
I hate this system. I wish I can figure out what is going on soon.
Sour grapes.
I never had any intention to try for medical school… that is until the later part of last year when I thought, “why not?”. I remember back in secondary school, I always say, “I am never going to do medicine, for I have no interest in becoming a doctor.” So it never mattered to me how difficult it was to get into medical school, especially in this country. Up to till now, I am still not sure why I bothered to go for it. I think it was because I couldn’t get what I wanted. And Medicine is what everybody else wanted and since I had a chance, I could go for it. I mean, my grades made the cut.
Well, I didn’t get it, and I didn’t appeal. I don’t feel sad about not going into medical school, because it was never what I wanted. I am in a position where it doesn’t matter what I do anymore because my choices are limited in that they didn’t include what I wanted. Which is kind of strange if you think about it. I mean, this is the best I can do, it is the best anyone can do actually and still, my choices are limited. Money is so very important.
Anyway, I don’t intend to complain or wallow in self-pity or whatever. I have already accepted it and I am pretty happy where I am now. I just want to talk about the medical profession.
Doctors have to be smart. That is for sure. I mean, these people look at complex system and save lives etc etc. They face challenges everyday and have to be up to date all the time. With the researchers and all. So there should be no dispute over how great doctors are. It doesn’t matter if they are not all compassionate and kind. Some may be money loving, some may be so wicked as to steal organs, kill people because they can etc etc. Most of them are great anyway, they are smart and they save people. Whether they intend to or not, that is another matter.
But at the same time, I think being a doctor must not be very rewarding. Doctors are suppose to do their job well. They can only do it well. They cannot afford to make mistakes. But don’t they also need experience and practice to do it well? Every surgeon has their first time. Of course, in their trainee/school days, they practiced and had experience with corpses, animals and what not. And they probably sat in while the seniors do the job etc etc. But surely, these things are different from the real thing? A musician can practise and practise. He probably needs to anyway. The doctor can’t. I mean he can, but his subject happens to be a human being.
Of course, there is always a mentor around and not all mistakes result in fatal or potentially fatal problems. But what if they do? You are suppose to learn from your mistakes, isn’t that why you practise? but they are not allowed to make mistakes. which makes it a huge responsibility.
I am not very sure how it really works, but isn’t it true that while a musician can practise a thousand times before she goes on stage, a doctor can’t? No I am not being sour grapes about not getting into medical school.
Really.
Oh and did I mention that a doctor has to deal with gross things as well? And have to work really hard in their trainee days while being miserly paid.
Hello Blog.
So I got myself a new blog. Will close the old one down after I downloaded all of its content.
I use to try my best to find a bloghost which allows me to customise. Now I no longer care about that. since I am not really that interested to design blog templates anymore. Now I am more into graphics and pictures. Besides, it is kind of tiring to think of where to place entry etc etc.
why not just let the host do the job? Don’t see why not.
so school is starting very very soon. Hard to believe that my more than 7 months of holiday is gonna end just like that. I thought I would have done some great things. Apparently not. I didn’t even have a new blog.
And I wonder and wonder and wonder. How come I have a blog? It started out with me playing with weblog designs. That was all to it. The desire to share my life and god knows what never existed. And I am not sure I want to do that even now. I think it is just the convenience of blogging. Like a platform where I can just write freely, my thoughts, arguments and whatever stupid things I thought of. And the wonderful thing about such blog hosts is that they categorise everything for you. Date, time, categories. And everything becomes so organised. On a nice pretty little webspace that belongs to you.
For me, it is never about sharing. It doesn’t matter if my blog reaches like me and me alone. At the same time, I don’t care if the world reads it. Because such things wouldn’t matter. It wouldn’t matter to the people reading either because after all, I am hiding behind a screen. Of course not counting friends. they are sort of different.
so I will start a blog in this newly created space. with my nicely categorised thoughts, creations and god knows what I decide to put here. And everything will just be so convenient.
I feel like it is time to start afresh! down with the old blog.
That is after I am done with downloading the entries.